Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
