You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
