You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
