what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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