I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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