Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
