I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My vagina is very pro this idea
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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