My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
