Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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