god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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