You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
