I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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