Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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