It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well you can't waste a boner
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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