yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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