we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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