She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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