I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize