I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
