I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
