Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
