So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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