Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
