i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
