god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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