Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize