Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
