Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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