I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
