it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
