I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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