There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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