Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
