Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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