all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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