I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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