eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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