One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
