i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
