I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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