bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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