party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
whose ass print is on the piano?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
