I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
