she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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