Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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