We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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