He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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