When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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