We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
