I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
