How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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