Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
