I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
