I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
