Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
