sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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