That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
