i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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