The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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