dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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