His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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