when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
