the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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