Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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