is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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